Allowing

My new favorite word is ALLOW.

I allow others the freedom to be who they are.

I allow others to have their emotional stuff/baggage and I don't have to fix it.
I allow them to be who they are without trying to change them.
I allow them to be, without my judgement.
I allow them to be happy, peaceful, successful, and to be safe and free.
I allow them to be them without my intervention.

I allow myself to be me.
I allow me to be beautiful, smart, happy, positive, fun, and healthy.
I will not downplay who I am for others to feel better.
I allow them their insecurities and their strengths, and I allow myself to be free.

I allow God into my life.
I allow myself to grow in His light.
I allow His plan for me to take priority in my life.
I allow His vision of who I really am to become my vision of myself.

Control has no place here.

Fear

Fear is an interesting emotion.

It stops action.
It creates other actions.
It causes people to overreact and have emotional outbursts.
It drives extreme behavior.
It leads people to seek reassurance from others they might not otherwise trust.
It often gets covered up by anger.
It is often misunderstood and mislabeled.
It gets held onto, as if that will make one safer.
It is usually suppressed.
It does not create positive emotions.
It has a very low frequency.
It is the opposite of faith.

What I have learned recently concerning fear:

*It is so conquerable!
*It does not have to drive us, but we can choose to let it go.
*Our thoughts are so very powerful, I create what I have in my life by my thoughts. Whenever I find negative thoughts creeping in, they get stopped and replaced with positive ones stating what is really true and what I really want.
*Fear has physical manifestations when suppressed for long periods of time. Holding onto that much stress has consequences.
*Faith is by far more powerful than fear.

Healing happens at all levels: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. Work also needs to be done at all levels, and any work done in one area affects the other three. My healing experience is all incompasing. The more I work and learn and let things go, the deeper the healing gets, at all levels.

What a miracle healing is.

Pilgrim 5K

I participated in my first 5K race this fine Thanksgiving morning. It was a lovely walk with my 71 year-old mother. I had other sisters who participated, but they all ran and left us in the dust. 

One runner got hit by a deer; I bet that's something you don't hear every day about racing. The guy came around a corner, and a deer was there. Cool story in that runner's world.

I even had a piece of pie for dessert today. How did I manage that and still eat clean? Thanks to my awesome sister-in-law and this website: http://cleancuisineandmore.com
It worked out great!

I am amazed at the wealth of clean recipes available. I believe my taste buds have changed, and that I like foods now that maybe I would not have months ago. 

On another note, I enjoyed a lymphatic massage a couple of weeks ago. It did wonders on my feet that have been struggling a bit with neuropathy. I am also doing lymph brushing which has assisted my body in releasing toxins and other goo. For more on lymph brushing, check out this video, it gives some basic info: 
www.youtube.com/watch?v=AZfMhXsjXeQ

Happy Holidays!

Tumors and Vertigo

I learned the other day at the doctor that the tumor in my breast has shrunk a lot. It was first measured (via an MRI) at 7 cm x 4 cm x 2 cm, so roughly the size of a long lemon. It is now (2 months later) about 2 cm, or the size of a small almond.

Both my doctor and his physician's assistant (PA) we're excited to see such progress. I got the impression from the PA that this was really rapid tumor shrinkage, and it was encouraging to hear.

On another note, I woke up Monday morning so dizzy I couldn't get out go bed for 20 minutes, and could barely walk. Someone else had to drive my daughters to school, because driving was out of the question. It improved later in the day, and by Tuesday was all but gone.

However, because I'm a cancer patient, I reported the symptom to my doctor, who sent me to an acute care clinic the same day.

Her analysis?

"Because you are a cancer patient, nothing is normal, so we have to check everything. But sometimes even cancer patients get normal things."
It wasjust an inner ear unbalance.

So no brain scan this week!
Bummer, that could be a fun adventure!

But it was a very fun adventure to go to an acute care clinic for the first time. Plus, I got to have my blood pressure taken close to eight times, all in different positions.
That was also a first.

So hurray for tumor shrinkage, and hurray for being normal!!

Questions

When visiting a doctor, it is important to ask questions.

It is even more important to ask important questions:

1. Why is this scan/biopsy/treatment necessary?
2. Will the information you get from this scan/biopsy influence treatment, and if so, how?
3. What are the expected side effects of this treatment?
4. Is side effect x normal?
5. I don't feel comfortable with treatment y, what else is available?
6. I understand this part, but I am not clear on this other part, will you explain it again?
7. Where can I get more information on this subject?

I don't ask doctors about diet recommendations because they typically don't know. I prefer to educate myself in that area.

Then there are the really important questions:

1. Where are you from?
2. Are you married?
3. Do you have any pets?
4. Where do your children go to school?
5. Have you ever been to Hawaii?
6. Do you like being a doctor? What is your favorite part?
7. Do you speak Chinese? (Yes, I really asked my doctor this, and he only speaks a little)
8. Where do you like to go on vacation?

These may seem silly, but I have found that getting to know my doctor as a person makes it much easier to talk about confusing or new medical terms and concepts. I feel much more comfortable calling with questions, and even joking with him.

So ask questions...you will be surprised at the connections you make.

Cancer Blessings

Fatigue - it allows me time to cuddle and read with my girls
Introduction to "Whole Foods"
Intirduction to Asian Markets
Motivation to eat really healthy
Opportunity to spend time with my sisters in SLC
Introduced to Tracendental Meditation
Met Karen's Energy and all it has to offer
Walks through Liberty Park
I have been able to heal from old emotional wounds
I really rest on Sunday now
Numb toes - I got a break from chemo for a week
I have a reason to use essential oils
I have been able to share what I am learning with others
My husband, two of his brothers, and my father-in-law all shaved their heads to show support.
My girls have more time to spend with their father and grandparents

Health and Cancer

One of the things I learned while pursuing a masters degree in health is that one must be wise in looking into health and nutrition. There are many conflicting ideas, most with supporting evidence.

But sometimes I fear my concern in seeking for "valuable and accurate" health information leads me away from valuable health information. Sure, method x or ideology y may not have 100 research studied to back them up, but there is evidence to support them as worthwhile practices.

I find it takes real humility and openness to consider things that are not mainstream. To really look at the whole person: emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically. It takes an open mind to look into traditionally Eastern ideas and methods of care. 

Our Western medicine has many great aspects, but I feel that it is limited. There is more I can do. More ways to heal, and more levels in which to learn. I have found great benefits by considering dietary changes, mental and emotional changes, meditation, and by looking at myself as more than just a physical being.

I learned many things in graduate school, not the least of which was how to rewrite. However, I don't want my very Western education, and way of looking at things through the eyes of a researcher, to limit my ability to find valuable and worthwhile health information. I want to be open to treatment and ideas that address the underline illness that caused or allowed this cancer to grow in the first place.

Therein is power. Therein is change. Therein is hope.