Attitude

What is it like to feel happy all of the time?

I don't know, but I do like to focus on the positive.

Lately I have felt a bit frustrated. I guess since I stopped the chemo drug I thought I'd feel 100% all the time. I don't feel awful, but I still feel tired. My legs feel achy, and I can only stand for so long each day. I get to decide what I do, then when my legs are done, they are done. I'm hoping that my legs will regain their strength when I'm all done with treatment.

At times I feel incredibly task oriented, and like to check off the list. These leg aches have limited my ability to organize my new house, slowed down trying fun new recipes, made boxes needing to be recycled pile up, and allowed me to read a lot.

Slow down?

What?

Who does that?

Well, now I do. I don't I think I would have otherwise. I get too excited to shop EARLY in the morning, or to clear out a room, or scrub the bathroom.

Meditating has helped, and reading with my girls has also helped me slow down. The fact that breakfast takes longer to put together has helped me slow down. I can't just grab something and run out the door. Smoothies are quick, but take more thought than a granola bar (I used to live on Clif Bars).

Two boxes a day. I unpack about two a day, and I'm good. When I need to rest, we pull out a game or a book, and I SIT DOWN. That's new for me too.

The attitude I'm going for is Joy in the Journey.

The journey of achy legs = joy
The journey of two boxes a day = joy
The journey of slowing down = joy
The journey of doing first grade homework = joy
The journey of being late = joy

I allow myself to find joy in my journey, wherever it may take me, and to love along the way.