Grateful

I had a scan several weeks ago. It indicated that several little tumors came back. At first I felt scared, then I decided that was silly, because that wasn't going to help me get better, so I changed how I felt.

I now feel grateful.

Grateful that the little guys came back, because obviously there is more work I need to do.
Grateful that my body is telling me where the work needs to be done.
Grateful for a blessing that gave me more direction.
Grateful for numerous resources available to me in this journey.
Grateful for receptor blocker drugs that I get to take now.
Grateful for others who have done challenging things and showed me an example of courage.

I am also grateful because it gave me an opportunity to stand up for myself to my doctor. He is a great guy, but he tried to tell me that he was responsible for my health care. I corrected him and told him that, "no, it is my body, my health, and I am responsible. I make the decisions, not him." I don't think he had ever had a patient tell him that before. It was good for our relationship, because now I feel a partnership with him. Before it seemed he was used to people asking questions, then doing whatever he said. Perhaps even giving their power over to him and making him responsible.

I cannot do that.

I will not allow another person to have my power. I am responsible for my health, my body, and my decisions. It may seem trite when written, but it was a huge shift inside me to be able to claim this for myself and then be able to stand behind it.