New Adventures

I had my first infusion of the new stuff on Thursday. The best part about the infusion room? 

Yoga.
That's right. Yoga.

I got to have an infusion for 90 minutes, then be observd for 90 minutes, which was new for me. After chemotherapy I have always felt restless, like I need to walk. I think it's my body trying to get the toxins out. Well, after my infusion I could not leave and go for a walk like I did before. That would interfere with the observation part. 

So I did yoga. Right there in the infusion room in front of my chair. The best part is that no one even looked at me strange. I think they have seen more bizarre things than that! After 8 minutes of deep breathing and stretches I felt much better.

Now for the next awesome adventure: I sprained my lower back this morning! It was great! I was supposed to be leaving for activity days in a couple of minutes. I was leaning over the sink in the bathroom and I sneezed. I felt a pop or shift in my lower back, around L5 and then pain radiated out to both sides of my body. I collopased to the floor unable to move or even breath well because of the pain. Pretty intense!

I sat there for several minutes trying to catch my breath, and thinking that I had all the stuff for activity days and I really needed to go. How was I going to do this?

I said a prayer. I explained my situation and asked for healing enough so I could make it to activity days, if that's where He wanted me to be. After the prayer I could get up, and even breath pretty normal. I managed to load the car with art supplies, and drive the block to the activity. 

As I taught about the 13th Article of Faith I had the impression that this is where I needed to be, and that the girls needed to hear what I was saying.

I mean how cool is that? 

It's AWESOME!

This scripture sums up how I feel...

...yea, and he also gave them strength, that they should suffer no manner of afflictions, save it were swallowed up in the joy of Christ. Now this was according to the prayer of Alma; and this because he prayed in faith. (Alma 31:38)

So happy Saturday!

Drugs, Drugs, Drugs

Visited the doctor last Thursday, which was AWESOME!

He prescribed drugs, because he's an oncologist. I think if I had been speaking with a surgeon, then the option of removing my ovaries would have been brought up. In fact, I know that's what would have happened, because I was told by a breast cancer surgeon that if I did not respond well to the tamoxifen she would, "yank [my] ovaries." Nice.

But I was speaking with a chemotherapy expert, so naturally that's what he advised.

Flashback to last Sunday.

Sitting in the primary room listening to a regional stake conference. One of the speakers mentioned Nephi. He said that Nephi "refused to become discouraged" when attempting to get the brass plates. He kept going and trusting in the Lord until he was successful. What stood out to me was that Nephi made the choice to not become discouraged. He refused. 

That concept hit home with me and I felt impressed that that message was for me. So I too refuse to become discouraged. I also thought about Laban and how Nephi was told to kill him. Nephi was like, "What!? This goes against everything I believe in!" But he trusted in the Lord and followed the prompting.

Back to the doctor's office.

Discussing chemotherapy options. 

Do taxol again? I cringed inside at that idea and knew I could not do it.

Another option was brought up. A targeted drug. A combination of herceptin - a receptor targeting/blocker drug - and chemotherapy. Because they are combined into one drug it works differently. The chemotherapy only attacks the cells that the herceptin takes it to, which are the cancer cells with her-2 receptors. Then the cells are killed from the inside because the herceptin pulls the chemotherapy inside the cells. This targeted approach has fewer side effects and is less toxic to one's body than regular chemotherapy.

As we discuss this drug I feel peace. I feel this is a good thing. Part of me screams, "What!? This goes against everything I believe in!" But for reasons unseen to me, this is my path. So I roll with it, and everything will work out great! It always does!

So here's to more adventures in Salt Lake.
Here's to more time in the infusion room.
Here's to more time with my sisters in Centerville.
And here's to more things to learn along the way.

I love life.
I love the challenges it brings.
I love that I get to experience this.
I would not trade it for anything.
I have learned far too much! 

Best Scan EVER!

I had the best scan I have ever had last week. I kind of broke some of the rules, which is probably why it was so cool. For a PET scan after a patient is injected with radioactive sugar they are supposed to sit still and relax in a dark room and drink goo. It gets really old, especially since after you do that for over an hour, you then go lay on a table and hold completely still for another 40 minutes.

So, when I was supposed to be relaxing and drinking goo, I read a book. I also only drank half the goo, doing this so I could keep it down. I feel that activities to prevent boredom-induced comas are important in the healing process.

The scan showed lots of cool activity all over! Awesome! The cancer spread to lots of places in my spine, which is new and very exciting. It's still in one lymph node and the tumors in the breast have grown a bit. I knew the treatment was not working, but now I know where it has spread. Very cool.

Now what I get to do:

I get to do work on support - that's what emotions are linked to the spine.
I get to do work on diet - cut out all animal protein
I get to do work on spiritually - because when all is said and done, that is where healing comes from.

Thanks for all of your prayers and support. I feel blessed to be able to heal, learn and grow here in mortality. 

And I'm just so thankful for this opportunity. 

Hurray!

I now get to visit with my doctor and see what he says. Dun...Dun...Dun...

More Scans - Because they are Awesome!

I have a PET scan scheduled next week. 
You may say, "but isn't there a lifetime limit on those?" 
Why yes, yes there is. But apparently I get lots!!

The treatment I was on was not so effective, so Doctor and friends want to take more pictures to see more stuff. Hopefully that will help us all make good decisions.

I'm not afraid of this. 

At times I discuss health matters with others, and some seem very frightened. I understand why, but I just am not afraid. 

I see this as a time to learn and grow. I do not see Cancer as the enemy. I see it as a symptom. A symptom of an imbalanced body. Seeking to restore balance has brought me a great deal of joy. I once heard a cancer survivor say that if you ask someone who has cancer why they have it, they always know. I thought about that, and he was right in my case. I know. I'm working on it. And I am so thankful for the opportunity.