Forks

Today I am thankful for forks.

All growing up, whenever my mother needed to get something untied she would ask us to, "get the pickle fork." A small, sharp fork used many times to save the day. I, however, never needed the fork. I had very strong fingernails that tackled shoelaces, string, and even opened boxes and ripped tape.

Now I use forks. As my fingernails break off, split, rip apart, and otherwise continue not to heal, I have a new appreciation for forks. The weakness in my fingers also loves forks. Forks save already ripped nails from further damage as they do the hard work to open knots and save yarn. Yea forks!

My toenails have recently joined the fray of splitting, and stubbed toes have turned into split open skin with major bruises. Awesome! I have never loved my feet as much as I do now!

All because of chemotherapy...bet you didn't know about these cool effects, did you?

Thank you for forks, and for shoes, and for awesome blessings I might not have appreciated if I didn't need them as much as I do now.

PET Scan Adventures

Coming from my fifth PET scan is a great thing. It is the only scan during which I felt sick. This shows improvement in something, though I'm not sure what just yet. 

The best part of my doctor visit yesterday was that I was helped by so many people with names beginning with the letter "B". The two MAs, both "B" names, my PA and her intern, both "B" names. Because of this, we renamed my doctor Bruce, and the nurse, Bob, so they fit in too.   

The PET scan indicated the the cancer lesions in my bones are healing and shrinking. There are no new tumors - always a plus. The tumor in my lymph node is gone, and the one in my breast is almost gone. All of the metabolic activity in the cancer cells has decreased - also a plus. 

The best part about Kadslya, besides that it works? For two days after I receive a treatment, I feel nauseous like I did when I was pregnant. That, "I'm not going to vomit, but I feel like I could and I'm light headed," feeling. Good times. Eating the right kind of foods helps to stave off the nausea, kind of like pregnancy. Maybe they are more related than I ever knew!

Night Thoughts

Sometimes I have a hard time sleeping. It is at these times that I tend to review my life. Last night as I reviewed scenes from my past, I noticed that most of them were not positive. They brought feelings of discomfort, anxiety, confusion, and regret. 

After I noticed this trend, I thought, "I don't want to feel this way." 

I then began stating positive truths: "I am important. I matter. What I want matters. I am strong. I am supported and loved. I flow with life. Peace of mind is mine. I take in and give out love equally." Along with others.

This activity rid my thoughts of the confusion, regret, anxiety and discomfort. I felt peace and began to drift into peaceful slumber. 

There was a time, several months ago, that stateing positive affirmations occurred multiple times daily. Lately, I have allowed other commitments to push out the positive thought patterns, and those negative ones like to come back in. Sneaky little guys!

I also noticed that when I don't exercise I don't sleep as well, and my thoughts tend to drift to the negative. Go exercise!!!

My positive affirmation for today: I lovely forgive and release everything in my past. I choose to feel my world with joy. I love and approve of myself.