Drugs, Drugs, Drugs

Visited the doctor last Thursday, which was AWESOME!

He prescribed drugs, because he's an oncologist. I think if I had been speaking with a surgeon, then the option of removing my ovaries would have been brought up. In fact, I know that's what would have happened, because I was told by a breast cancer surgeon that if I did not respond well to the tamoxifen she would, "yank [my] ovaries." Nice.

But I was speaking with a chemotherapy expert, so naturally that's what he advised.

Flashback to last Sunday.

Sitting in the primary room listening to a regional stake conference. One of the speakers mentioned Nephi. He said that Nephi "refused to become discouraged" when attempting to get the brass plates. He kept going and trusting in the Lord until he was successful. What stood out to me was that Nephi made the choice to not become discouraged. He refused. 

That concept hit home with me and I felt impressed that that message was for me. So I too refuse to become discouraged. I also thought about Laban and how Nephi was told to kill him. Nephi was like, "What!? This goes against everything I believe in!" But he trusted in the Lord and followed the prompting.

Back to the doctor's office.

Discussing chemotherapy options. 

Do taxol again? I cringed inside at that idea and knew I could not do it.

Another option was brought up. A targeted drug. A combination of herceptin - a receptor targeting/blocker drug - and chemotherapy. Because they are combined into one drug it works differently. The chemotherapy only attacks the cells that the herceptin takes it to, which are the cancer cells with her-2 receptors. Then the cells are killed from the inside because the herceptin pulls the chemotherapy inside the cells. This targeted approach has fewer side effects and is less toxic to one's body than regular chemotherapy.

As we discuss this drug I feel peace. I feel this is a good thing. Part of me screams, "What!? This goes against everything I believe in!" But for reasons unseen to me, this is my path. So I roll with it, and everything will work out great! It always does!

So here's to more adventures in Salt Lake.
Here's to more time in the infusion room.
Here's to more time with my sisters in Centerville.
And here's to more things to learn along the way.

I love life.
I love the challenges it brings.
I love that I get to experience this.
I would not trade it for anything.
I have learned far too much!